I’m currently feeling quite a lot of apathy towards Empire. I kinda want to go, but I haven’t booked holidays for it, and I haven’t got costume and I have a severe case of “can I be arsed?”. It’s not that I don’t have other friends going or anything, but I just don’t feel connected to it in a way that makes me want to get organised for it.
It’s odd. I can get excited about Empire at times, but other times – like now, when I’ve just had an email telling me the early booking deadline is coming up – I just don’t know if I can be bothered with the effort of getting myself organised.
It’s a reflection of my depression, I’m aware, but I feel like everyone else is more involved and invested in it than I am and I can’t catch up to that. I feel like I’d be lost and not know what to do, like I can’t possibly get myself organised in time so why bother trying?
It’s hard to describe, but these things are rarely easy.