As there often is on Facebook, there has recently been a scourge of memes going around, one of which was along the lines of “Tell me a character name and I will write their introduction as if I were writing a novel”. I didn’t want to do that for everyone, but I did want to do some. And so, I present a select few of the ones I have written. Characters are not named, but should be obvious from context if you know them.

The paperwork piled upon the desk is impressive, but not as impressive as the woman sat behind the desk. While the minutiae of running an operation as complex as hers would test the mettle of many, she is unbowed by the pressures; standing as a bastion of strength and a flawless figurehead to her followers. Such a long way she has come, and so much further to go, yet she stands as the focus of an entire rebellion against the many oppressors who would tear her Resistance to the ground and see her head upon a spike – if not worse. Her lips tighten and her eyes narrow as she contemplates the latest stack of paperwork brought in by her faithful retainer. Was it all worth it? Would history remember her as a saviour, a martyr, or a fool? Sipping her tea lightly, she wondered whether she could handle finding out – whether she could handle more anguish and heartbreak or whether she should walk away now. An uproar from the outer office made her smile, her dear Duke-to-be had arrived and was causing trouble. Perhaps she could stand a little longer, if only because the Pillars would never let anything happen to her. She would stand tall, with her Pillars of Mirandola beside her, come what may. For now, there was work to be done and a Resistance to lead.

She was perfect. Her servants had spent the morning ensuring it was so, much to her chagrin. She did not want to be perfect; she wanted to be reading that new text on biological processes she had received, but the Empress had insisted she be there to meet their guests. What the Empress desired, the Empress would get, and so it was that she looked more like a doll than a person, barely able to move in her ceremonial garb. Would these guests bring anything of interest, or would they just be more sycophants trying to get closer to the throne? She did not care as long as she could return to her studies before long – guests were rarely interesting enough to warrant distraction from her texts. She wanted to be a scientist, not a princess. Sighing, she collected herself. It would not do for her to seem unsettled or distracted, and she was due at the Empress’ side imminently. Her texts would wait another hour, would they not? And perhaps one day, she might get to see the stars for herself.

Second-best sniper? If only they knew. I’ve made shots that Canadian wanker would never even be able to dream of. I’ve killed gods, brought down armies, and snogged an alien princess. I’m like Kirk, but with more sense and a better gun. But it’s all classified, and you’ll never get to read about it in the papers. If you’re reading this, you’re one of those unlucky bastards who’ve been told to read my “memoir” and learn from it. Well, I’ve got some shit to tell you, and it’s probably best you don’t make the same mistakes I did. Let’s begin with your choice of spotter – ignore what your teacher told you, you want someone quick and good up close not another sniper.

The most valuable asset in the Resistance was also one of its most underrated – except by himself.
An accountant who pretended to noble blood, who fought more with words and numbers than he ever did with his sword.
And yet, for all that he was not on the front lines, he was the one who kept the Resistance operating, finding new sources of money, scavenging up equipment and food, forging trade alliances to keep the Resistance together.
Without him, the Resistance would never have lasted as long as it did. Of course, that isn’t to say he didn’t have his flaws, but who doesn’t? He was one of the Pillars of the Resistance, and perhaps the most vital for all the other two brought charisma and military might to the table, for every quartermaster knows that an army marches on its stomach and no one else in the Resistance had such a gift for economics as he.