bad weekend

I’ve had a bad weekend following a shaky week, and I pretty much fell off the internet in broad terms. I had to force myself to go shopping on Sunday, and I was shaking afterwards. There’s a few things going into this, and Jeremy still being missing is one of them. The depression spiral that leads into is a little terrifying and I actually don’t even want to voice the steps out loud out of some kind of prophetic superstition.

Today is better. I’ve cycled into work (and back home again) these last two days, and the physical activity helps, I think. Felt terrible yesterday (probably due to malnutrition over the weekend) but my energy levels are much better today.

Frustrations at non-functioning code are at a high point and that adds stress to near-breaking point. If it actually gets to the point where I know I’m going to yell at someone if they interrupt me again, that’s probably the point where I’ll need to walk out of the office. So far, so good on that point.

2 thoughts on “bad weekend

  1. Seriously, exercise is like a cheat code for me. I was having a truly abysmal day yesterday, then went running. (Which at the very least means half an hour of not thinking about negative things as my brain switches to “breathe, run” mode.) I didn’t come out giddy, but I was able to smile again and felt a lot better.

    Look after yourself, do some exercise and see some people if you can – not a lot, not for too long, and ideally closer people, but that kind of distraction can do wonders. I hope Jeremy comes around, too 🙁

    1. Yesterday I felt like I was going to throw up after the cycle in. Today, not so much.

      What I should be doing is hitting the gym, but getting up is an issue, and I know I can cycle to work in 20 minutes for a quick hit of exercise, which probably is making me lazier.

      Exercise as therapy is something I am familiar with as a concept, but something I’m only recently attempting to apply. We’ll see how it goes.

      As for company… that would rely on me having people who I knew would spend time with me. Social isolation is a thing, and despite efforts to do things with people, I usually get no response. My social circles seem remarkably small and constricted given how broad they should be.

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